Prologue
Xu Yue is a time traveler. Before his journey, he was an orphan raised in a welfare institution. Relying on his innate talent and the path arranged by the director, he entered school in a daze, received scholarships in a daze, graduated in a daze, entered a hospital in a daze, and accepted red envelopes in a daze, continuing to drift aimlessly until he became a somewhat renowned surgical expert
The originally monochrome world suddenly became vibrant, as I felt my own heartbeat and my own body temperature, experiencing for the first time a sense of being alive
However, in this numb gray-white world, after purchasing a newspaper containing news about the world war and gazing at the images of mechas on its pages, Xu Yue seemed to suddenly discover a new brilliance emerging in the surrounding gray-white world
Upon discovering the fact that I had traversed through time, there was nothing I could not accept; all that remained was the numbness and confusion that had become second nature.
Repeatedly stating the words that have been said countless times before the reporters, returning to the orphanage to visit the children, observing their admiring gazes, and witnessing the satisfied smile of the old director
Passively taking the director's expectations and the hopes of other members in the orphanage as one's own life goal, continuously climbing and moving forward
However, he has never felt any pleasure regarding this matter
Having arrived in this world for some time, he has managed to establish a foothold thanks to his advanced medical knowledge that surpasses this era, and has taken over a small clinic within this concession.
Do you yearn to seek a true life and to know your authentic self
Before the crossing, I did something, yet it is one of the few things I cannot quite remember. I vaguely recall that it seemed to be on the operating table
As the wooden door panels were removed piece by piece, Xu Yue's small clinic began a new day of revenue generation
Yet deep down, there remains a sense of coldness, a feeling of confusion, devoid of goals, joy, or direction, completely unaware of what pleasure is.
If there are no other unforeseen circumstances, I will continue to run a small clinic, maintaining the sunny smile that has become a habit, doing the things I used to do: treating patients, earning money, receiving red envelopes, and then donating all my income. I will continue to operate mechanically with this habitual routine amidst confusion and uncertainty.
Only numbingly performing surgeries, numbingly delivering speeches, numbingly participating in consultations, numbingly engaging in the suggestions and development of new drugs, numbingly donating all the hard-earned red envelopes, and numbingly standing on the podium
Only the machinery continues to move forward mechanically, fulfilling the path that everyone anticipates
The white mist made the door panels damp, and taking a breath of this air infused with a humid, salty sea scent, Xu Yue's eyes were unfocused, filled with a sense of bewilderment
Perhaps it is the abilities gained from the loss of these emotions that make one exceptionally skilled in learning, possessing a memory that is nearly photographic.
A signboard smile that is amusing even to oneself, sunshine, brilliant, warm-hearted, becoming a model, a benchmark, a moral exemplar in the eyes of outsiders
A wealth of professional knowledge, as well as novels and anime watched during leisure time, can be firmly retained in memory
No familial affection, no friendship, no life goals
In the First World War, the Allied forces with their mech legions were continuously defeated by the Coalition forces possessing the Jedi Knight legions, ultimately leading to a humiliating surrender
Some possess only endless disguises, endless masks
Perhaps, this is the life that lies ahead.
Living for others while wearing a mask
From childhood to adulthood, he has never had his own personality, his own thoughts, or his own path. It seems that these inherently human emotions have gradually been lost and dissipated through a series of aimless experiences.
In this unknown and mysterious world that requires searching and exploration, Xu Yue felt as if he had come to life, and the surroundings had regained their colors
A mechanical and cold voice echoed in his mind, and the next moment, Xu Yue felt a darkness enveloping his eyes, vanishing from the spot.
What is the true self
A world that is completely incomprehensible, a world that is utterly irrational, clearly still in the early years of the 20th century, having just completed the Second Industrial Revolution